Black Friday Blues

Black Friday Blues

Today has been dubbed “Black Friday”. It is dedicated to rampant consumerism and blatant materialism. It is hard to resist, especially this year with the intense media push and aggressive advertisements with tempting mouth-watering savings via newspapers, mail, TV, radio and e-mail. Many stores were even open on Thanksgiving. An American spiritual tradition - giving thanks to God for all the blessings we enjoy - is now converted into the new American faith in STUFF, buying with every last drop of money you have and then with the money you don’t have. Fill your life with STUFF. I think we the consumers are the new Thanksgiving turkeys and we are being stuffed. Saying this I must confess. If I wasn’t terrified of crowds I would probably be out there shopping for bargains instead of doing this blog. What do you think?

Clutter-free Gifts

So how do we free ourselves from adding to the clutter caused by more Christmas gifts? I like what my sister did this year. Kathy is the generosity guru of the family. This Christmas she treated the whole family to Cirque du Soleil at Madison Square Garden. Now this is great. It’s a shared experience with those we love, great fun and best of all, it doesn’t take up any space in our house (unless you buy a souvenir).

I have given Kathy trips – that’s how we discovered Longwood Gardens – and treated family or friends to dinner or a show. A gifting experience that is remembered fondly and doesn’t add to our treasure troves. To really hit the spot, these should be shared experiences. Then you get the best present of all – the gifter’s presence to enjoy the dinner or show with you.

Personally, I love gifts that you can literally eat up. My hubby and I have gobbled up fruit baskets, fruit cakes (yes, we love fruit cake), homemade Aunt Kate cookies, etc. etc. And we never forget who sent us these treats. My friend Mary sends us a 2 lb. box of See’s Chocolates from San Francisco each year and we think of her with each sweet bite. Even though this gift sends my Weight Watcher points sky rocketing.

And then there are the “contribution gifts”. My son likes us to donate to favorite charities, like Doctors Without Borders in their honor. This idea has become more imaginative lately because people still like a tangible token, along with their altruism. This year the World Wildlife Fund had a great gimmick – adopt an endangered animal and receive a certificate and photo of “your” animal. I got one for each of my grandkids and threw in a stuffed animal for the youngest three. Anyway, it’s a wonderful way to honor a friend, support a cause and get a tax deduction. And best of all – it takes up no space at all!

Mother Teresa and Too Much Stuff

Lately I’ve been trying very hard to de-clutter. I feel buried by my “treasure”: too many boxes, too many clothes, too many trinkets. And yet… it is so hard to let go. If I could be sure that an individual or an organization would appreciate my precious thingys, it would make it a lot easier to donate them. But each item seems to have emotional baggage and I end up feeling like a prisoner of my possessions.

First of all, they need to be organized or I don’t remember that they even exist, much less where they are. Items with sentimental value – like drawings made by my grandkids (come to think of it, I may have some of my kids' drawings too!) or the last Avon pin that my Mom gave me or a birthday card from my daughter – these are especially hard to part with. It’s like I’m throwing away their love. And then there’s the hundreds of old photos. I can’t breathe thinking of it!

And of course I want to guard all my things, especially the emotionally valuable ones. When my house was robbed last year, I discovered how painful it is to lose my belongings. I felt violated. From time to time, I remember another thing that was stolen and the wound opens again.

The very act of cleaning out forty plus years of accumulations and to whom I should bequeath what, raises the terrifying thought of my own mortality. Bad enough to die but then to have your sweet stuff forgotten too! Oh no! No wonder I am stuck in this house that I think I want to move out of.

Filling up the bottomless black hole with “stuff” enslaves me in a way. Yet no matter how hard I try, I wind up buying more “stuff” I don’t really need. I have been reading Mother Teresa’s letters: Come Be My Light. The beginning reveals how she pestered the powers that be to let her heed the “call” to live in the slums of Calcutta. What intrigued me about this mission of hers, is how much she longed to become one of the poor, to give up all possessions. And I have come to see that this is what truly frees you. Maybe this is not as selfless as it seems – maybe it is just smart to detach yourself from material goods.