Sometimes time is on my mind when I'm not even aware of it. Like when this poem came to me last Memorial Day.....
Memorial Day
Folded boulders, remnants of the last
Ice Age to hit the Bronx,
Deeds deep hidden in their wrinkled crevices,
Deeds all but forgotten.
Trunks of trees, wrung out like wash rags
drying in the heat of May,
Fear forever frozen in their furrowed faces,
Fear of what will never be.
Breathless breezes bathe the aching head,
cool the heated heart while
Thoughts of Death invade the mind,
terrorize the soul, paralyze the will
Not enough time
to get it all done
to do it all right
the way it should be
Not enough time
Never enough time
Now there really is
Not enough time.
Copyright E.M. Ramos 5/29/2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Where does the time go?
Hey is it only me? Or does everyone feel they just don't have enough time. I have not posted for two or three weeks. Why am I so busy? Why am I so angry about "not enough time"? I thought retirement meant having lots of free time.
Well it has been a full two weeks - did a workshop at a NJ parish for Partners in Healing; joined a spiritual direction group; got a grant (at last!) for my part time job, which means more work; my granddaughter's Confirmation (see "my daughter's blog"); having overnight guests, which means serious housecleaning.
I think what is bothering me is that I was thrown out of my comforting "routine". Having all these "different" things to attend to instead of sleeping late, blogging, walking, malling and to top it off, I missed 2 Weight Watchers meetings. And yet. I enjoyed all of it, even the cleaning.
So why was I so angry? It hurts to interrupt my routine, to introduce change, uncertainty. I am no longer on "safe grounds". I am not in control. That's scary and it transforms into angry.
Luckily, I still remember to pray. And last Sunday - when I was really angry - I remembered to focus. And this is the story my ANGER is trying to tell me, the same story I have heard so many times. I am angry that I am not DOING all that I "should" do, that I am not what I "should" be. Old story. And it feels so sad.
Of course, I even wrote a poem about it. Actually many poems. Keep tuned.
Well it has been a full two weeks - did a workshop at a NJ parish for Partners in Healing; joined a spiritual direction group; got a grant (at last!) for my part time job, which means more work; my granddaughter's Confirmation (see "my daughter's blog"); having overnight guests, which means serious housecleaning.
I think what is bothering me is that I was thrown out of my comforting "routine". Having all these "different" things to attend to instead of sleeping late, blogging, walking, malling and to top it off, I missed 2 Weight Watchers meetings. And yet. I enjoyed all of it, even the cleaning.
So why was I so angry? It hurts to interrupt my routine, to introduce change, uncertainty. I am no longer on "safe grounds". I am not in control. That's scary and it transforms into angry.
Luckily, I still remember to pray. And last Sunday - when I was really angry - I remembered to focus. And this is the story my ANGER is trying to tell me, the same story I have heard so many times. I am angry that I am not DOING all that I "should" do, that I am not what I "should" be. Old story. And it feels so sad.
Of course, I even wrote a poem about it. Actually many poems. Keep tuned.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Autumn's Youth
While I wandered in the woods the other day, I received a surprise - the gift of a poem. A poem for this particularly warm, dry Autumn.
AUTUMN'S YOUTH
Fall debuts without fanfare.
Here a red fringed branch
blinks brightly from the brush.
There an oak bedecked
in Midas glory
pops up upon the path.
But mostly trees seem tired,
their drying limbs droop
heavily toward earth.
Their worn out leaves,
edged in weary gray brown,
sport age spots and ragged tears.
Like star gazers beneath
an early evening sky
revealing its secrets,
Those awaiting autumn’s awe
keep vigil and behold
her colors unfold
before their eyes.
Copyright E. Ramos 10/7/2007
AUTUMN'S YOUTH
Fall debuts without fanfare.
Here a red fringed branch
blinks brightly from the brush.
There an oak bedecked
in Midas glory
pops up upon the path.
But mostly trees seem tired,
their drying limbs droop
heavily toward earth.
Their worn out leaves,
edged in weary gray brown,
sport age spots and ragged tears.
Like star gazers beneath
an early evening sky
revealing its secrets,
Those awaiting autumn’s awe
keep vigil and behold
her colors unfold
before their eyes.
Copyright E. Ramos 10/7/2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
FRIENDS: AND FAMILY
I keep thinking of this theme of “friends”. So I looked up the meaning in my rather antiquated Webster’s – Friend, n. one attached to another by affection. Well, now that takes in a lot of people in my life. Including many who also happen to be members of my family, like my husband who probably knows me better than anyone and still sticks around.
Although our relationship has changed and evolved over the years, I can certainly say that I count my adult children, and their spouses, among my friends. We are there for each other in tough times, like times of illness; we share laughs as well as heartaches and complaints; we have wonderful conversations about topics ranging from the challenges of parenting to the war in Iraq (especially how to get out!) to the latest books we are reading. We have gone on trips together; enjoyed shows and movies together; celebrated joyful occasions together; and continue to learn from each other - although I am still waiting for one of them to show me how to put up photos on this blog. And they have given me the best gift of all – my grandchildren. Believe me, I know how blessed I am to have children who are also my friends.
Last week our family had a joyous celebration, my niece Audra’s wedding to Brian. For more on the wedding and pictures, see my daughter’s blog (link on sidebar). Many family members I had not seen for quite some time were there and it was wonderful to catch up, to hang out, and to remember old times and all that we shared – and still share.
But I have to say a special word about the mother of the bride, my sister Kathy, a true friend, perhaps my oldest friend, and one who grows dearer as the years go by. Kathy is the “glue” that keeps our family together, a one woman network who keeps “in touch” with family far away, to keep us all up to date on the latest family news. I have called Kathy “terminally generous”, and anyone who knows her will agree. For instance, not only did she gather and help make arrangements for all the out of town guests to the wedding, she prepared welcome baskets for them complete with home baked Aunt Kate cookies (that’s another blog), Yankee caps, and lists of places to explore on Long Island! She is amazing, such energy, always doing something, always busy, always welcoming. And still has time to read! Can we really be related! Seriously, I am one lucky woman to have such a sister, such a friend, such a great family.
Although our relationship has changed and evolved over the years, I can certainly say that I count my adult children, and their spouses, among my friends. We are there for each other in tough times, like times of illness; we share laughs as well as heartaches and complaints; we have wonderful conversations about topics ranging from the challenges of parenting to the war in Iraq (especially how to get out!) to the latest books we are reading. We have gone on trips together; enjoyed shows and movies together; celebrated joyful occasions together; and continue to learn from each other - although I am still waiting for one of them to show me how to put up photos on this blog. And they have given me the best gift of all – my grandchildren. Believe me, I know how blessed I am to have children who are also my friends.
Last week our family had a joyous celebration, my niece Audra’s wedding to Brian. For more on the wedding and pictures, see my daughter’s blog (link on sidebar). Many family members I had not seen for quite some time were there and it was wonderful to catch up, to hang out, and to remember old times and all that we shared – and still share.
But I have to say a special word about the mother of the bride, my sister Kathy, a true friend, perhaps my oldest friend, and one who grows dearer as the years go by. Kathy is the “glue” that keeps our family together, a one woman network who keeps “in touch” with family far away, to keep us all up to date on the latest family news. I have called Kathy “terminally generous”, and anyone who knows her will agree. For instance, not only did she gather and help make arrangements for all the out of town guests to the wedding, she prepared welcome baskets for them complete with home baked Aunt Kate cookies (that’s another blog), Yankee caps, and lists of places to explore on Long Island! She is amazing, such energy, always doing something, always busy, always welcoming. And still has time to read! Can we really be related! Seriously, I am one lucky woman to have such a sister, such a friend, such a great family.
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