FRIENDS: OLD AND NEW

One of the blessings of retirement is the time to refresh friendships, reconnect with old friends and make new ones. And today, there are so many ways to “be with” friends.

This past year or so, I’ve noticed that my “in person” getogethers with my long time pal Pat have been happening more often. We share two of my favorite pastimes – eating out and “window shopping” at the Mall.

Then there is the group of ex-Catholic Charities colleagues that meet once a month to do museums or cultural sites. We’ve done Met tours, Botanical Gardens events, trips to the Zoo, the Nassau County Museum of Art and the Talbot’s outlet (how’d that get in there?). To tell the truth our monthly gatherings are 90% café and conversation and 10% culture. Last month we even ran into another “friend from work” at the Met, so there were six of us.

There have also been many friends from the past that I can spend more time with via e-mail; this blog has brought messages from many. And some visits are planned for next month with friends I haven’t seen for years.

For my internet challenged pals, who live far away, I’ve logged in more phone time, especially with A. who lives on a farm in the mid-West. A. and I go way back – to our college days at St. John’s University.

During the Transition Retreat I made last June (see July 5th blog) one of the retreatants reminded me of a dear friend Mary, a lively 90+ year old who lives in California. I was prompted to make a long overdue phone call and found that she had been seriously ill. How glad I was to speak with her!

My dream of making new friends in retirement is taking a bit longer but I trust that my pursuit of volunteer service and a spiritual direction group starting in a few weeks may bring new people to grace my life.

Mother Teresa and Faith

I just read a newspaper article about how Mother Teresa struggled with her faith for the last 50 years of her life, with only a 5 week respite. During this time she could not feel or experience God's presence and questioned her belief in God and the value of her life's work. Although I have not yet read the book of her letters and writings documenting her "dark night of the soul", knowing that she went through this gives me a new appreciation of Mother Teresa's profound faith. Ironic?

To be lost in such persistent darkness and then to forge ahead anyway and continue to do the good works you once felt called to - well, to me that is faith personified. And to desire God the way she did, without feeling anything, without being certain of anything and yet, still desire this relationship with God - if this is not faith, what is? I believe that most of the saints experienced these times of darkness, but fifty years? I admire her courage to continue to search her soul and look within. Most of us, faced with such pain, would give up and reach for the TV, tranquilizers, work, cookies, whatever it takes to distract us from the dark truth of uncertainty.

I started this blog with the dark womb of transition and how I felt a bit lost as to where the road leads for me in my post-retirement world. I think I may have a new patron saint of persevering during dark times. Mother Teresa may turn out to be the champion of those who struggle with their faith.

An August Blessing

I have noticed that many of my recent poems deal with "transition". The one I will share today was written in the summer (how appropriate) of 2006, shortly after I retired that June. It deals with my struggle to begin a new phase of my life.

An August Blessing

Peeking through the holes I see
Pieces of the sky
Holy trees
Peaceful clouds
Bless me on the way.

Sitting still upon a bench
Surrounded by a kiss
Quiet rest
Gentle breeze
Calm me on the way.

Melting down the grief of June
As anger bids farewell
August heat
August hope
Heal me on the way.

Clinging to my treasured trove
Unwilling to let go
Cluttered home
Heavy heart
Teach me on the way.

Walking with nowhere to go
Watching every step
Precious time
Prayerful feet
Guide me on the way.
copyright E. M. Ramos 10/15/2007

Transitions

Since retiring from my job of 25 years last year, I have been in “transition”, a time of change, darkness and new possibilities. Last week I made a retreat "Embracing Life’s Transitions: God’s Call to Transformation". I remembered other times of transition and how they had shaped me into what I am today. In particular there was the time that the department I headed was dissolved and absorbed into another, without an identity or mission. It was hard. I saw it as a personal failure and felt angry, confused and humiliated. Yet in this painful place I was to be befriended by Sister P., who helped me re-structure our work into Ministry to Seniors, a more effective program that trained hundreds of parish volunteers who reached out to hundreds more homebound persons over the next 15 years. Even more, Sister P. convinced me that one need not be a religious to be called to the spiritual life. And so began an awesome inner journey: retreats, journalling, bio-spiritual focusing – a totally new perspective on how I viewed God and my faith. Such growth!

Transitions are like being in a cocoon, a time of darkness and turmoil, a time for waiting. I am not a patient person so it is very difficult to sit still and wait. But recalling past experiences gives me hope that some day soon I will emerge again into some exciting new form, just like a butterfly. This blog could be the start. 7/5/07