Hey is it only me? Or does everyone feel they just don't have enough time. I have not posted for two or three weeks. Why am I so busy? Why am I so angry about "not enough time"? I thought retirement meant having lots of free time.
Well it has been a full two weeks - did a workshop at a NJ parish for Partners in Healing; joined a spiritual direction group; got a grant (at last!) for my part time job, which means more work; my granddaughter's Confirmation (see "my daughter's blog"); having overnight guests, which means serious housecleaning.
I think what is bothering me is that I was thrown out of my comforting "routine". Having all these "different" things to attend to instead of sleeping late, blogging, walking, malling and to top it off, I missed 2 Weight Watchers meetings. And yet. I enjoyed all of it, even the cleaning.
So why was I so angry? It hurts to interrupt my routine, to introduce change, uncertainty. I am no longer on "safe grounds". I am not in control. That's scary and it transforms into angry.
Luckily, I still remember to pray. And last Sunday - when I was really angry - I remembered to focus. And this is the story my ANGER is trying to tell me, the same story I have heard so many times. I am angry that I am not DOING all that I "should" do, that I am not what I "should" be. Old story. And it feels so sad.
Of course, I even wrote a poem about it. Actually many poems. Keep tuned.
2 comments:
This is why I posted some the lyrics to "Running on Empty." Maybe we can have a nice uneventful weekend...Wait. Marina has a poetry workshop. Sierra has religious ed. Have to clean up the yard for trick or treaters next week. Weekend's over. Oh well.
Love,
T
Yes, El, everyone feels they don't have enough time. The problem is I don't give enough thought to what my priorities are or should be.
When I was in my 50's is when I finally realized that I do have limitations and for mental health, I had to learn to set priorities. From time to time, they have to be re-ordered as the body ages. It takes longer to do things now so I simply can't do all that I used to.
Life comes at us fast, yes?
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