Lately I’ve been trying very hard to de-clutter. I feel buried by my “treasure”: too many boxes, too many clothes, too many trinkets. And yet… it is so hard to let go. If I could be sure that an individual or an organization would appreciate my precious thingys, it would make it a lot easier to donate them. But each item seems to have emotional baggage and I end up feeling like a prisoner of my possessions.
First of all, they need to be organized or I don’t remember that they even exist, much less where they are. Items with sentimental value – like drawings made by my grandkids (come to think of it, I may have some of my kids' drawings too!) or the last Avon pin that my Mom gave me or a birthday card from my daughter – these are especially hard to part with. It’s like I’m throwing away their love. And then there’s the hundreds of old photos. I can’t breathe thinking of it!
And of course I want to guard all my things, especially the emotionally valuable ones. When my house was robbed last year, I discovered how painful it is to lose my belongings. I felt violated. From time to time, I remember another thing that was stolen and the wound opens again.
The very act of cleaning out forty plus years of accumulations and to whom I should bequeath what, raises the terrifying thought of my own mortality. Bad enough to die but then to have your sweet stuff forgotten too! Oh no! No wonder I am stuck in this house that I think I want to move out of.
Filling up the bottomless black hole with “stuff” enslaves me in a way. Yet no matter how hard I try, I wind up buying more “stuff” I don’t really need. I have been reading Mother Teresa’s letters: Come Be My Light. The beginning reveals how she pestered the powers that be to let her heed the “call” to live in the slums of Calcutta. What intrigued me about this mission of hers, is how much she longed to become one of the poor, to give up all possessions. And I have come to see that this is what truly frees you. Maybe this is not as selfless as it seems – maybe it is just smart to detach yourself from material goods.
2 comments:
Hello again El,
This is a great subject for a post. You expressed very well the feelings that most of us have about our 'stuff' and how we get so emotionally attached to it.
My husband and I were such terrible pack rats that we became "Collectible Dealers" selling at Flea Markets and Collectible shows. It wasn't long before we viewed all these things as (just what they are) "stuff".
When our children came to visit (usually one by one from out of State,) we would let them go through our "stuff" that hadn't sold, and let them take whatever they wanted. Maybe you could get rid of some of your clutter that way.
That must have been a terrible trauma to have your house robbed. Thanks God that has never happened to us and we pray it never will. It definitely causes a person to feel violated as indeed you were violated.
I agree with the last line of your post "maybe it is just smart to detach yourself from material goods." I'm sure it's smart because it's a gospel value to 'die to self'. The Saints call that 'mortification' or penance.
Hi Mom,
Great post! I give you permission to toss out old drawings I've done. Remember, the love and memories is not in the objects, it's in you. If it makes you feel better, I'll come over and take digital pix of the drawings and you can keep them on a disk or in your computer. Oh! That can be your Christmas present!
I tagged you! Copy and paste the book meme on my blog and fill in your own answers.
Love, T.
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