The Mall and My Mom

OK I confess. I love to visit the Mall. Yes, the stores may be all the same, wherever in the world you are. Towns forfeit their uniqueness by admitting Malls into their midst. You give up that cute little craft shop on a tiny street with "absolutely no parking" for Gap, Bath & Body Shop, Victoria's Secret, etc. etc. You know what I mean.

So what attracts me? I can't buy more stuff. Where would I put it? And especially now, that I am trying so hard to de-clutter, to free myself from the bondage of material things. I have so many clothes that I can't remember what I have or where I put it. I keep buying duplicate colors of T-shirts. If I wore a different outfit every day, I wouldn't run out of clothes till 2008 or 2009!

So why do I love to go malling? For one thing, at the Mall you can be alone but not really alone. There's lots of distractions from dwelling on painful inner stuff (like getting old) and scary outer stuff (like the terrorist threat). Of course, the Mall brings up the challenge of "too much choice". But that's a good thing. When there are so many lovely things to choose from, I usually give up and buy nothing. Another important consideration, being on a fixed income. And the Mall is exciting. So many bargains. Which brings me to my Mom, who may be my model for malling.

My Mom could find bargains back in the days when "40, 50 and 75% off sales" were unheard of. And she could find bargains in unexpected places. Like the time she led me up escalators, zigzagged through aisles, and maneuvered around racks of dresses to a remote bargain corner in Bloomies. Amazing, given that I get lost in Bloomingdale's just trying to find the exit on the first floor! Yes, Mom would be in heaven (well she's there anyway) with today's bargains. Yet Mom never bought for herself. Her purchases were always gifts for others: her kids, grandkids, friends. She had a cache of gifties, waiting for the right recipient. Even when her gas was being turned off for non-payment of a bill, Mom would shop for her bargains. I felt guilty accepting her gifts when I knew her financial struggles. Then my brother John gave me an important insight. This was our mother's way of expressing her affection, which she had trouble doing in a touchy feely way. After that, I accepted her way of loving us. And I let the kids keep the dollars she would sneak into their pockets.

There's a lot of Mom in me and that includes the part that loves shopping. The Mall. A magical place. I even wrote a poem once. Read on.....