Forever Friends
I have friends of every persuasion.
Two legged friends who wheel me about
when my heart's at low tide.
Green limbed friends that drape my
deep down dread
in shimmering stillness.
Anonymous friends who open new doors
when windows slam shut.
Furry friends testing true,
even though I yell
Get off the table!
Unseen friends whispering from beyond
when menacing mists swallow hope.
And I bow to the care of my friends.
Copyright: E.M. Ramos 7/21/10
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Forever Friends
Last week my friends journeyed all the way to the Bronx to be with me. We got a wheel chair and they pushed me around the Botanical Gardens. Later that week, as I sat in the Gardens, I realized that I hadn't written a poem for awhile. I searched for "inspiration" and it came. After some tweaking and evolving, here it is.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Who Inspires Your?
Last Sunday the gospel was the Good Samaritan. As I looked around at the faces in the congregation, faces of so many races and nationalities, I thought: “I am looking at a whole church full of Good Samaritans.” Because that is what the good people in my parish have in common: a profound sense of caring and concern. And they put their caring into action. They certainly do inspire me to be more caring about my “neighbor”.
My husband inspires me. During this episode of immobility, he has chauffeured me around, taken me out to see my family and friends, wheeled me around the Garden, and supported me when I get grouchy and depressed.
My family and friends inspire me. They do so much it takes my breath away! And they care enough in their busy lives to call, e-mail or visit to cheer me up. On Sunday my sister invited Angel and me to lunch with friends. We spent the day dining and gabbing and watching the World Cup finals - although we missed seeing the only goal!
Yesterday, my pals from the Met Club schlepped all the way up to the Bronx to join me at the Botanical Gardens. Although it was pouring rain, we had a happy time in the Café, chatting away.
It is wonderful how caring people can boost your spirits. I am not used to being on the receiving end, but it sure is nice!
My husband inspires me. During this episode of immobility, he has chauffeured me around, taken me out to see my family and friends, wheeled me around the Garden, and supported me when I get grouchy and depressed.
My family and friends inspire me. They do so much it takes my breath away! And they care enough in their busy lives to call, e-mail or visit to cheer me up. On Sunday my sister invited Angel and me to lunch with friends. We spent the day dining and gabbing and watching the World Cup finals - although we missed seeing the only goal!
Yesterday, my pals from the Met Club schlepped all the way up to the Bronx to join me at the Botanical Gardens. Although it was pouring rain, we had a happy time in the Café, chatting away.
It is wonderful how caring people can boost your spirits. I am not used to being on the receiving end, but it sure is nice!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Inspiration
What INSPIRES us? What is there that might give us a “kick start” to live life to the fullest?
Last Spring the New York Botanical Garden had a wonderful exhibit on Emily Dickinson, the 18th century poet. Throughout the blossoming gardens were excerpts from her poems. At the entrance to the Children’s Garden was this thought:
What fills us with “enlivening emotion”? What stimulates us to action? What motivates us? What breathes life into us? And what do we do with this inspiration? How do we take action? How does this “breath of life” manifest itself in our works, our relationships?
I get inspiration from some very familiar sources and some that are a bit atypical.
What INSPIRES you?
Last Spring the New York Botanical Garden had a wonderful exhibit on Emily Dickinson, the 18th century poet. Throughout the blossoming gardens were excerpts from her poems. At the entrance to the Children’s Garden was this thought:
Be inspired. Inspired: to fill with enlivening emotion; to stimulate to action; to motivate; to breathe life into.
What fills us with “enlivening emotion”? What stimulates us to action? What motivates us? What breathes life into us? And what do we do with this inspiration? How do we take action? How does this “breath of life” manifest itself in our works, our relationships?
I get inspiration from some very familiar sources and some that are a bit atypical.
NATURE - especially my walks in the Botanical Garden, Central Park, the Bronx Zoo, and vacation trips (the Pacific Coast, the German Alps, Florence, and Death Valley, to name a few).Inspiration has enabled me to write poetry, to paint, to design programs and projects in my work, to start a blog, to look at my relationships in a new way. The list goes on and on. And changes from year to year. As it does in each of our lives.
BOOKS - and not just spiritual books or poems, although I am big on Henri Nouwen and Anthony De Mello. I’ve discovered that even novels sometimes provide the words or phrase that set my heart spinning and my imagination soaring.
TV and MOVIES - Star Trek has some very “spiritual” episodes that have clarified real life mysteries for me in a real way and helped to deepen my faith.
PEOPLE - Throughout my life I have been blessed to know good, ordinary, and extraordinary people who have inspired me. Some older, some my age, and some much, much younger.
What INSPIRES you?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Still Struggling
Still Struggling
Well it seems that I have a slight fracture of the hip in the groin area - no wonder it hurts so much. What does this mean? I need to learn patience since I won’t be able to walk the way I’d like to for some time. I need to spend more time at home, inside, quietly. This really drives me crazy since I am an outside person. I am always ready to escape: to the Botanical Garden, to the city, to the mall, to the movies, to see friends. Anywhere but home.
What do I need to learn from this experience? More empathy with those who are challenged and cannot get around easily. I marvel at how people get around the city on wheelchairs and walkers. I’m afraid to cross the street at my new slow pace.
Maybe I need to learn to be quiet and meditate more, to explore that deep dark scary “inner me” that I try so hard to shut out. Maybe I need to learn new things: new tricks on the computer and internet? Maybe I need to work on my presentation for next Fall’s Wisdom Wednesday Workshop that I will be leading. Anyway, I can’t say I don’t have the time. Time is all I have right now. Time to learn, time to get well.
Well it seems that I have a slight fracture of the hip in the groin area - no wonder it hurts so much. What does this mean? I need to learn patience since I won’t be able to walk the way I’d like to for some time. I need to spend more time at home, inside, quietly. This really drives me crazy since I am an outside person. I am always ready to escape: to the Botanical Garden, to the city, to the mall, to the movies, to see friends. Anywhere but home.
What do I need to learn from this experience? More empathy with those who are challenged and cannot get around easily. I marvel at how people get around the city on wheelchairs and walkers. I’m afraid to cross the street at my new slow pace.
Maybe I need to learn to be quiet and meditate more, to explore that deep dark scary “inner me” that I try so hard to shut out. Maybe I need to learn new things: new tricks on the computer and internet? Maybe I need to work on my presentation for next Fall’s Wisdom Wednesday Workshop that I will be leading. Anyway, I can’t say I don’t have the time. Time is all I have right now. Time to learn, time to get well.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Spring Challenges
It’s been a challenging Spring for me. Busy with happy things: my granddaughter Sierra’s First Communion and grandson Chase’s Confirmation in May. Plus all the May birthdays: Sierra - 8; Marina - 17; and Chase - 14 years old! A big party on May 1st to celebrate all of the above plus my husband’s 70th birthday.
And then I was struck by a persistent cough, tickling in the throat, and hoarseness. Went to the doctor several times but it would not go away. They attribute it to the terrible pollen season we’ve been having but I - true to my nature - began to worry. In the meantime my back went out and I pulled a groin muscle (like A-rod!). I had to get a cane and I could not do my usual hour walk each day; in fact, I could hardly walk at all. This was awful since walking is my main exercise and helps me work off stress.
I became so frightened and my imagination was working overtime. Thankfully, I trust my doctors and they were very reassuring. In fact, everyone was being so nice to me. My friends were concerned and full of stories and helpful hints. Angel was wonderful, doing all the housework and shepherding me around.
I learned a powerful lesson from all of this. My independence, which I value so, is fragile - as it is for all of us. Learning to lean on others, to accept their help is difficult. Through all of this challenging Spring, one thing pulled me through. Prayer. I do remember to pray and even when I pray in darkness, without much hope, the answers come. In the form of doctors, friends, loved ones. A lesson I needed to learn indeed.
And then I was struck by a persistent cough, tickling in the throat, and hoarseness. Went to the doctor several times but it would not go away. They attribute it to the terrible pollen season we’ve been having but I - true to my nature - began to worry. In the meantime my back went out and I pulled a groin muscle (like A-rod!). I had to get a cane and I could not do my usual hour walk each day; in fact, I could hardly walk at all. This was awful since walking is my main exercise and helps me work off stress.
I became so frightened and my imagination was working overtime. Thankfully, I trust my doctors and they were very reassuring. In fact, everyone was being so nice to me. My friends were concerned and full of stories and helpful hints. Angel was wonderful, doing all the housework and shepherding me around.
I learned a powerful lesson from all of this. My independence, which I value so, is fragile - as it is for all of us. Learning to lean on others, to accept their help is difficult. Through all of this challenging Spring, one thing pulled me through. Prayer. I do remember to pray and even when I pray in darkness, without much hope, the answers come. In the form of doctors, friends, loved ones. A lesson I needed to learn indeed.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Happy Mothers Day
This month I’ve been attending a discussion group on Joan Chittiser’s book “The Gift of Years”. Yes, it’s about growing old and it is very positive. Here is a quote from the chapter on “Productivity”. “When we go on giving ourselves away right to the very end, we have lived a very full life.”
My Mom lived to the very end, despite her illness, being herself to the last. Her final “work”, hours before she died, was to order gifts from the Avon catalog for those she loved. This is how Mom expressed her love; she wasn’t a touchy-feely, huggy-kissy person. She loved to gift.
She was also a fighter, outspoken on issues she felt strongly about. Mom went down fighting, fighting cancer, even fighting the doctors who woke her that night to do a “procedure”. She was a lesson in living to the very end.
Thank you Mom for your courageous example, your generous spirit - a gift to me and to the world! Happy Mothers Day in Heaven and Happy Mothers Day to all mothers everywhere.
My Mom lived to the very end, despite her illness, being herself to the last. Her final “work”, hours before she died, was to order gifts from the Avon catalog for those she loved. This is how Mom expressed her love; she wasn’t a touchy-feely, huggy-kissy person. She loved to gift.
She was also a fighter, outspoken on issues she felt strongly about. Mom went down fighting, fighting cancer, even fighting the doctors who woke her that night to do a “procedure”. She was a lesson in living to the very end.
Thank you Mom for your courageous example, your generous spirit - a gift to me and to the world! Happy Mothers Day in Heaven and Happy Mothers Day to all mothers everywhere.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A Poem for Spring
It's Spring! And I get inspired just strolling amidst the fresh new green of the trees. The feel of Spring this year brought back a memory of a park near where I grew up. When I was a kid, I was convinced there were fairies and woodland creatures in Forest Park, it felt so magical. And a poem came to me, which I share with you.
Along for the Ride
Who rides inside of me?
This fine Spring day
When trees blush
Prettily in pink
And grin frizzy green.
Who rides inside? My Dad,
His love of nature
Rooted deep in me.
Who rides inside? My
Grandfather’s garden
Where once I dug in delight
And now each bud and bloom stir
Smiles inside my heart.
Who rides inside
My deep dark woods?
A Forest Park elf
Behind an old stone wall
Up to some sweet mischief.
I feel the brush
Of fairy wings
Dusting me with mystery.
I hear the hidden creatures
Call from some faraway
Place … or time …
Spring takes the stage again
With a trumpet blast
And a drum roll.
Winter’s dead dread is
But a distant dream.
Spring ignites the great
White Way of my life
And makes her abode
Deep inside … for the ride.
© E.M. Ramos 4/11/2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Secrets and Psalm 139
Secrets and Psalm 139
In light of my aversion to having my “secrets” revealed, I wonder that Psalm 139 is my favorite. “O Lord you have probed me and You know me.” It does not disturb me; rather it comforts me to know God knows “when I sit and when I stand,” that He understands “my thoughts from afar.” Maybe it reminds me that I am not alone, that God is aware of little me, that He cares about me.
“Where can I go from your Spirit? From your presence, where can I flee?” Rather than fear being found out, these passages raise some deep down gratitude. Why? I am not sure. It is a paradox. But I trust the feeling. And my prayer “Sacred Heart of Jesus I place my trust in Thee” has gotten me through so many dark moments, how could I not be hopeful when His hand guides me and holds me fast!
On this glorious Easter day, it is no secret that I feel grateful to have the gift of my faith and l wonder at the mystery of the Resurrection. How blessed I am! Happy Easter to all!
In light of my aversion to having my “secrets” revealed, I wonder that Psalm 139 is my favorite. “O Lord you have probed me and You know me.” It does not disturb me; rather it comforts me to know God knows “when I sit and when I stand,” that He understands “my thoughts from afar.” Maybe it reminds me that I am not alone, that God is aware of little me, that He cares about me.
“Where can I go from your Spirit? From your presence, where can I flee?” Rather than fear being found out, these passages raise some deep down gratitude. Why? I am not sure. It is a paradox. But I trust the feeling. And my prayer “Sacred Heart of Jesus I place my trust in Thee” has gotten me through so many dark moments, how could I not be hopeful when His hand guides me and holds me fast!
On this glorious Easter day, it is no secret that I feel grateful to have the gift of my faith and l wonder at the mystery of the Resurrection. How blessed I am! Happy Easter to all!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Mysteries and Secrets
Mysteries and Secrets
I love mystery novels. One of my favorites is the Victorian Mystery series by Robin Paige, which takes place in late 19th century England. Kate Ardleigh and her husband Sir Charles Sheridan are amateur sleuths. What is so interesting and educational are the real historical characters they encounter during their adventures: the Prince of Wales, Arthur Conan Doyle, Rudyard Kipling, and Chas. Rolls (of Rolls-Royce).
All sorts of new inventions and technology are explored in these novels: fingerprints, the camera, the motor car, etc. And the reactions of the people of that time to these new inventions and developments in crime detection. Change is difficult for people to accept. New technology is not always embraced at first. New ways of doing things are not trusted. Some things never change across the centuries! Like people’s attitudes.
One passage that set me thinking was Sir Charles’ explanation of how X-rays work to incredulous listeners. You can actually see inside the body, he says. Imagine the implications for medicine, says a local physician. We may one day even be able to observe the heart beating. And Kate replies: “And soon we will have no secrets at all”.
No secrets at all. That’s how I sometimes feel in the face of 21st century technology. All of these new wonders are robbing us of our secrets. Google anything, including your own name, and chances are you’ll find out more than you ever wanted to know. And when I go for a medical check-up to be scanned way beyond X-rays - blood tests, CT’s, MRI’s - discovering secrets I did not even know I had. Well, no wonder I and so many others distrust and fear these new fangled investigative devices. They take away our last illusion of control, shine an all-revealing light on our nice safe dark corners. No more secrets.
I love mystery novels. One of my favorites is the Victorian Mystery series by Robin Paige, which takes place in late 19th century England. Kate Ardleigh and her husband Sir Charles Sheridan are amateur sleuths. What is so interesting and educational are the real historical characters they encounter during their adventures: the Prince of Wales, Arthur Conan Doyle, Rudyard Kipling, and Chas. Rolls (of Rolls-Royce).
All sorts of new inventions and technology are explored in these novels: fingerprints, the camera, the motor car, etc. And the reactions of the people of that time to these new inventions and developments in crime detection. Change is difficult for people to accept. New technology is not always embraced at first. New ways of doing things are not trusted. Some things never change across the centuries! Like people’s attitudes.
One passage that set me thinking was Sir Charles’ explanation of how X-rays work to incredulous listeners. You can actually see inside the body, he says. Imagine the implications for medicine, says a local physician. We may one day even be able to observe the heart beating. And Kate replies: “And soon we will have no secrets at all”.
No secrets at all. That’s how I sometimes feel in the face of 21st century technology. All of these new wonders are robbing us of our secrets. Google anything, including your own name, and chances are you’ll find out more than you ever wanted to know. And when I go for a medical check-up to be scanned way beyond X-rays - blood tests, CT’s, MRI’s - discovering secrets I did not even know I had. Well, no wonder I and so many others distrust and fear these new fangled investigative devices. They take away our last illusion of control, shine an all-revealing light on our nice safe dark corners. No more secrets.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Running to Nowhere
For some time I have felt so impatient. Like I want to hurry everything through and get on to the next thing. No matter what it is. If I’m reading, I want to hurry and finish the book and immediately start the next. I call it “Chain Reading”, much like chain smoking except it‘s not destroying my lungs. I read 57 books last year. If I’m walking I want to hurry and get to some destination, usually the café or some other place to eat. If I’m eating, I hurry to finish, hardly noticing the taste, never savoring.
I want the movie to be over so I can go on to the next thing. At work, I enjoy the planning but my goal is to finish and proceed to the next project -right away. I can’t stand to be without motion, to be still, to meditate, to focus, to pray. I want everything to be over and done with. Instead of breathing and delighting in where I am right now. And where I am right now is in flux. PS I hurried to finish this.
I want the movie to be over so I can go on to the next thing. At work, I enjoy the planning but my goal is to finish and proceed to the next project -right away. I can’t stand to be without motion, to be still, to meditate, to focus, to pray. I want everything to be over and done with. Instead of breathing and delighting in where I am right now. And where I am right now is in flux. PS I hurried to finish this.
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